Sunday, January 25, 2009

Happy 40th Anniversery Mom & Dad!

A toast to you! Enjoy the Grand Canyon! Love ya both!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Puppy Play-By-Play

Audrey "Hey, I want the pink ball!"
Bogey "Well you can't have it!"

Audrey "Please!?! Please!?! Give me the Pink Ball!"
Bogey "NO!"

Bogey "Hey! Where did my ball go?"

Audrey "HEHEHE! MINE!"

Bogey "Life sucks."

I'm so easily amused.

Monday, January 19, 2009


I’m still sick but at least it’s also yucky outside. Being sick on a sunny day to makes me feel worse because I’m stuck inside.

I’ve realized the benefits and drawbacks of having a cold living away from home. The drawback is that I can’t just call my mom and ask her to bring over food, magazines, and cough syrup. Alex has been pretty good about that the last couple of days because his classes have only been half days. But today he’s gone from 8am until 9pm because he also has his MPH class tonight, so I’m on my own. The benefit of living far away from home is that I had no problem running to Walmart this morning before I showered, in my sweats, with my hair looking awful and no makeup on. I felt like crap and since I don’t have to worry about running into anyone I know, I didn’t care. So there! (I did, however, get several strange looks as I sneezed and coughed my way through the isles.)

In the midst of all this, I’m suppose to be the ladies from the small group I’m leading at church next month, but after calling 5 of them on Monday, I feel too icky to do anything. I might try to tackle it this afternoon. We’ll see.

My wonderful husband, who has been taking good care of me the last few days, picked up movies for me. Ratatouille and Open Season are both really cute kids’ flicks if you haven’t seen them yet. (I like cartoons when I’m sick- and when I’m not sickJ)

That’s all the randomness for today.

Ick... I'm Sick

I've caught my 2nd cold in 3 weeks. Yuck.

I caught a mild cold when we came home from Fresno that luckily only lasted a few days. Than Alex got sick and I thought "wow, he's a lot worse than I am - lucky me, I only got a mild version of that virus". He was pretty miserable until Monday, when he finally started feeling a little better. Than yesterday morning I woke up with my lymph nodes feeling like golf balls and my head feeling like it was floating 10 feet above my body. It’s a very strange feeling!

Everything in my house is thoroughly cleaned and disinfected now because I don't want to get sick again. Lysol Wipes are my best friend! And since I don't feel like eating I'm tackling my New Years resolution of losing 20lbs. So good can come of a cold!

So regardless of our beautiful 70 degree weather the last few days- I'm stuck inside.

Bah Humbug.

On a more positive note: My parents are going on vacation next week for their 40th anniversary, so I'm heading to Fresno to run the office - like old times! So hopefully I'll be fully recovered before Sunday and I'll get to spend some time with friends next week.

Friday, January 9, 2009

"I do"... again?

Alex and I have often talked of the idea of renewing our vows on our tenth anniversary. He was actually the one who suggested it a few years ago. I mean I realise my vows do not “expire”. For me it’s a public declaration of us continuing to stick it out through thick and thin.

It’s symbolic for many reasons. One is the many struggles our marriage has been through to get to our ten year anniversary (I’m saying this because we’ve had many struggles to get through in our 7 years). I think anyone who goes through hard times feels a renewal when things start to get better. Our ten year anniversary is the same year as Alex’s graduation from med school, and the year I will hopefully received my ordination through the Foursquare Church. So it will be a year of "ending one chapter, beginning another." Also, or current plan is to wait until Alex graduates to begin our family, so it will symbolize us leaving our “family of two” years behind us.

It’s also important to me because our wedding was not exactly what I had wanted. I wanted a small gathering a family and friends, and an outdoor wedding. I compromised a lot because it was important for Alex to have ALL our friends and family there. So we were married in the church Alex grew up in and had a cake and punch reception. I didn’t like many of my pictures-we hired a photographer who worked from home and the pictures did not turn out like I wanted. I actually like my candids from the wedding the best. By our ten year anniversary we will have the finances to be able to do the reception that I always wanted. I guess, to be honest, I want a do over. (There are obvious differences - we wouldn't accept presents; no bridesmaids/groomsmen, etc.)

So my question is; what do you think of vow renewals?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My husband's going to be a doctor

Yes I know, most of you are saying "Duh, Janna, he's in med school!"

But until yesterday it hadn't really sank in.

I took a friend of mine to UCSF for a doctors appointment yesterday. As we were walking through the hospital, I kept seeing all the doctors in their long white coats, carrying paperwork and coffee, scurrying through the halls. Some would walk together talking in low tones to one another. And all of a sudden I realise that my husband was going to be one of them someday. After years of waiting he is finally a med school student. In 3 1/2 years, he will be running through the hospital, with his white coat, probably getting coffee for an attending because he will be a resident. In 8 1/2 years he will be doing his fellowship. And in 12 years, when he is finally done with all his training (yes its forever away), he will likely have interns getting his coffee.

I think the strange realization that dates in the hospital cafeteria are not that far away. Right now are the "easy years", or so I've been told. He is memorizing more information than he has had to in his entire life. But he has classes from 8-5, Monday through Friday. At least he's home for dinner, even if he studies while we are eating! When his clinicals start in a year and a half, he will be learning at the hospitals, and the hours can be crazy. That keeps going through residency, when he will be making very little money and working 60-80 hrs a week. And even working as an attending, he's likely to be working more than 40 hrs a week with the speciality he's interested in.
I think I've been so focused on the school part of medicine that I hadn't really thought about what we have waiting for us at the end!
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Learning my Limits

One of the best things about being at home was going back to Grace Place and seeing friends. One of the worse things about going to Grace place was watching all my friends children running all over the place after church. Don't get me wrong, I love their kids. They are all precious and beautiful. But it reminds me of why I had to stop going to Grace Place last year. It was just too painful to watch everyone around me getting pregnant and having babies while I had empty arms.

I'd be lying if I told you I backed out of Lynae's New Years BBQ just because I was tired. She confirmed to me later what I expected would happen at the party. All but two of the couples there had children. The guys went outside to talk and BBQ while the ladies sat inside and talked about their children. And childbirth. And nursing. And aches and pains. And when I heard this I ached for the two women who didn't have children, because I know them and their struggle with infertility as well. And I realised that if I was there I would have had to go home. It would have been too much. I'm grateful that I know how much I can take.

I have peace within the pain right now. I don't really know how to describe it. I know the Lord is in control, and I have peace with his timing. But I've also gotten to a point where I know my own limits. Hanging out one on one with my friends and their kids is so much fun. I love sitting and visiting while playing with their little ones. But group settings are my struggle. Because the conversation usually turns to what is most important to everyone there - the children. And I know when I have children I will be there talking up a storm. But for now, I'm okay knowing with what I can and can't handle. And not all days are like this. I knew Thursday morning when I woke up it would be too hard for me. It may have not been as hard the week before.

A few weeks ago I bought a baby toy. Its a little stuffed baby lion that plays "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". You may see this as a torture devise, but I see it as a reminder of God's promise. That He will always take care of me. That He knows my deepest dreams and desires. And that one day I will have the children I've been waiting for.

So I'll leave you with one of my favorite verses (from the Amplified Bible)

Isaiah 30:18
"And therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all those who wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him!"

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The grades are in...

Alex got his grades for his first semester of Med School...

Drumroll please...


And that includes his MPH class! I'm so proud of my Hus!!!!

What we did on our Christmas Vacation...

We arrived home last night around 8pm and I was so glad to sleep in my own bed! We had a great time visiting with friends and family while in Fresno, and now we are both ready to get back to normal life.

The best parts of our vacation:

- Went to Grace Place (our church in Fresno) and saw many of our friends that we've missed

- I spent almost an entire day with Lynae and Andrea. Andrea has gotten so big since I last saw her in July! (So had Lynae- but in a good way - she's expecting a baby boy in March)

- Last minute shopping with Beth - I miss my shopping partner!

- We went to Madera Christmas Eve to visit Alex's family there

- Watching Marnie's face as she opened her gift from all of us (we pitched in with my parents and siblings). I have a picture of the exact moment she realised it was an American Girl doll!

- Grocery shopping and long talks with my Mom - I miss her so much :(

- Grandma Lion taking us all (his parents and his sister Rose and her husband Jesse) out to a fancy family dinner (I had duck:)

- Putting together a 1000 piece puzzle with Alex's parents

- Spending an afternoon just hanging out with Cass "like old times"

- My mom's prime rib dinner for dads birthday on New Years Eve - and the look on dads face when he saw the putter Kris and I went in on together!

- Seeing "Despereaux" at the theater with Grandma Lion. It was a great movie!

I'll have to post pictures later (my camera is in my car and I'm feeling too lazy to go outside in the cold to bring it in!)
*Edit- Here's the pictures!
Mom and Audrey on Christmas Eve
Matt & Beth Christmas morning (Matt looked up from the PSP just to take the picture:)Marnie and Kit, her new American Girl Doll (Mom and Karey are in the pix too!)Dad with the birthday cake I made for him - yellow cake with chocolate frosting, just like always!The finished puzzle! Me and Alex and his parents