Wow. I haven’t blogged in a long time.
I honestly don’t remember the last time I sat down and read a blog that wasn’t attached to a Pinterest link so I totally get it. And Facebook really took over and I posted everything there.
Until like got crazy and I started struggling and decided to take a break from social media. It’s been 6 months now and I have no interest in getting back on. Yes it’s hard to not see everything going on with everyone but I just struggle too much with comparisons, and everyone on Facebook seems angry about one thing or another. I just don’t need extra drama. I have enough of my own.
And so I find myself back at this little blog I started 10 years ago, before I ever had a iPhone and before I was even on Facebook. I started this blog simply to keep my family informed about what was going on in our lives. And now I intended to start that back up again.
Maybe I’ll adtuakky get to writing things down this way and can keep a record for my kiddos of their childhoods.
Saturday, September 8, 2018
Saturday, March 23, 2013
San Diego Zoo!
Last weekend we were sent on a "forced vacation" to San Diego for Hubb's intern retreat for work (They told him if he didn't go he would have to work). So we decided to make a little family trip out of it. We stayed in a cheap motel and spent the weekend at the San Diego Zoo and Safari Camp.
Chillin with daddy at the intern house.
Running!
So serious...
Daddy and Sammy watching the lions at the "Lion Camp".
I would upload more photos but I can't seem to find them on my computer. And the only photo of me is not post-able (lets just say its a great "before" picture)!
The Safari Camp was our favorite The animals were spread out more so it was much less crowded. And seeing the lions was the highlight of our trip.
I would upload more photos but I can't seem to find them on my computer. And the only photo of me is not post-able (lets just say its a great "before" picture)!
The Safari Camp was our favorite The animals were spread out more so it was much less crowded. And seeing the lions was the highlight of our trip.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Match Day
"For I know the plans I have for you" says The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future ." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Every year, in mid march, there is the National Residency Match. That's where all the graduating medical students from all over the country find out where they will be doing their residency. It's a little complicated but basically the 4th year students list the residency programs they interviewed with in order of preference and the residency programs list the students they interviewed in order of preference. Then it all is sent to a program that matches everyone based on both rank lists. (For a better explanation go to nrmp.org)
I tell you this because this years match day is just a few days away now. And so last years match is so clear in my mind.
On the morning of Friday, March 16 2012 we were in Fresno and heading over to our friends house to drop off Sam so we could run a few errands. Alex had a small break in his rotations because he was leaving for Bolivia the next week for a month long international rotation. I was driving while Alex was on his phone in the passenger seat, checking for the results. It seemed like forever before he was able to finally log into the web site - it was quite as he was looking.
Than he said softly "It's Loma Linda"
"Haha, very funny" I said, than looked at him. He was dead serious. So I asked again "your joking right?"
"No." He replied.
And it all suddenly came like a flood. A huge lump formed in my throat. We would have to move. For at least 3 years we would leave all our friends, family, and church... again. Sam wouldn't grow up next to his cousins. We would have to sell the house. And it was all going to happen in only 3 months.
I turned and looked at Alex again. He looked like his spirit was crushed. He had been told by Fresno that he was definitely "in". That he was one of there top picks. And he had ranked Fresno #1. So why did he get #2? It didn't make sense.
I asked God for the right words to speak, to reassure my best friend hat this was going to be ok.
"This has to be where God wants us. There is no other explanation. You said yourself after the interview that if it wasn't for the location that Loma Linda would be your #1." I said while still driving, choking back tears and looking straight ahead at the stop light in front of me. He nodded, obviously still shocked but looked a little reassured.
The hours that followed was a mass of texts, emails and Facebook comments where I was the super positive one- telling everyone that this was apparently where God wanted us and that it was an incredible program and we were blessed that Alex had matched there. All this was true. I also told everyone how incredibly sad I was that we would be leaving the community and our hometown that we loved so much. It all seemed surreal. But eventually along with the disappointment came excitement for our little family's new adventure.
It's now been a year and I can absolutely see why we are here. This program is far superior to the one in Fresno- much bigger with more opportunities and has an incredible clinic. He gets to pray for his patients an can be open about his faith, and has seen God's hand at work in his patients recoveries. I have an amazing group of friends- women who are medical spouses like me whose husbands are in various places in the journey ( student doctors, residents, and attendings). We have kids around the same age and understand each others struggles with our spouses 80 hour work weeks and call schedules. I am so blessed to have them in my life.
Alex and I have learned (once again) to rely completely on one another. Even though he works more hours now, we actually see each other more than we did in Fresno since I am not involved in a million things. Since we are not on the go constantly, we have a more peaceful home and we are enjoying that as well. We've also gotten serious about our finances and are finally on the same page. Being away from family is hard, but has also been nice that during times of family drama we are far enough away not to get to wrapped up in it.
So good and bad, we have learned to take what we are given and make the best of it, and trust that The Lord is completing the work he began in us. And he has always been faithful! His plans for us have always turned out better for us than the plans we've made for ourselves.
Every year, in mid march, there is the National Residency Match. That's where all the graduating medical students from all over the country find out where they will be doing their residency. It's a little complicated but basically the 4th year students list the residency programs they interviewed with in order of preference and the residency programs list the students they interviewed in order of preference. Then it all is sent to a program that matches everyone based on both rank lists. (For a better explanation go to nrmp.org)
I tell you this because this years match day is just a few days away now. And so last years match is so clear in my mind.
On the morning of Friday, March 16 2012 we were in Fresno and heading over to our friends house to drop off Sam so we could run a few errands. Alex had a small break in his rotations because he was leaving for Bolivia the next week for a month long international rotation. I was driving while Alex was on his phone in the passenger seat, checking for the results. It seemed like forever before he was able to finally log into the web site - it was quite as he was looking.
Than he said softly "It's Loma Linda"
"Haha, very funny" I said, than looked at him. He was dead serious. So I asked again "your joking right?"
"No." He replied.
And it all suddenly came like a flood. A huge lump formed in my throat. We would have to move. For at least 3 years we would leave all our friends, family, and church... again. Sam wouldn't grow up next to his cousins. We would have to sell the house. And it was all going to happen in only 3 months.
I turned and looked at Alex again. He looked like his spirit was crushed. He had been told by Fresno that he was definitely "in". That he was one of there top picks. And he had ranked Fresno #1. So why did he get #2? It didn't make sense.
I asked God for the right words to speak, to reassure my best friend hat this was going to be ok.
"This has to be where God wants us. There is no other explanation. You said yourself after the interview that if it wasn't for the location that Loma Linda would be your #1." I said while still driving, choking back tears and looking straight ahead at the stop light in front of me. He nodded, obviously still shocked but looked a little reassured.
The hours that followed was a mass of texts, emails and Facebook comments where I was the super positive one- telling everyone that this was apparently where God wanted us and that it was an incredible program and we were blessed that Alex had matched there. All this was true. I also told everyone how incredibly sad I was that we would be leaving the community and our hometown that we loved so much. It all seemed surreal. But eventually along with the disappointment came excitement for our little family's new adventure.
It's now been a year and I can absolutely see why we are here. This program is far superior to the one in Fresno- much bigger with more opportunities and has an incredible clinic. He gets to pray for his patients an can be open about his faith, and has seen God's hand at work in his patients recoveries. I have an amazing group of friends- women who are medical spouses like me whose husbands are in various places in the journey ( student doctors, residents, and attendings). We have kids around the same age and understand each others struggles with our spouses 80 hour work weeks and call schedules. I am so blessed to have them in my life.
Alex and I have learned (once again) to rely completely on one another. Even though he works more hours now, we actually see each other more than we did in Fresno since I am not involved in a million things. Since we are not on the go constantly, we have a more peaceful home and we are enjoying that as well. We've also gotten serious about our finances and are finally on the same page. Being away from family is hard, but has also been nice that during times of family drama we are far enough away not to get to wrapped up in it.
So good and bad, we have learned to take what we are given and make the best of it, and trust that The Lord is completing the work he began in us. And he has always been faithful! His plans for us have always turned out better for us than the plans we've made for ourselves.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Fast forward two years...
Since my last post we have...
Gone though domestic adoption and adopted a beautiful baby boy in July 2011. We have an amazing open adoption with his birthfamily and as I start to blog more I will talk about the awesomeness of our adoption. Samuel is 19 months now and the center of our whole world.
I am 5 classes away from my BA but have no desire to go back. I know I will finish (at some point) but right now I am loving being a stay at home mom!
Alex graduated from medical school!!! He's officially a doctor in his first year of residency in pediatrics. He is anticipating doing a 3 year fellowship in hematology/oncology after his 3 years of residency.
We moved to Loma Linda for residency. Alex did not match to his first choice of Fresno for pediatrics but apparently God had a better plan for us. Loma Linda is an INCREDIBLE program, much better than what Alex experienced in Fresno. We are involved at an amazing church and I have been so blessed to have a wonderful group of medical spouses who are learning, just as I am, the ins and outs of being married to a doctor.
Our cocker spaniel Audrey pAssed away this summer. We lived dog free for 4 months before we adopted our new little pup- a tiny brown and white Shih Tzu we've named Frodo. He is adorable- but I'm remembering that puppies are a lot of work!
We had to short sell our house. Our first home, that we invested so much sweat, money and heart into. But we had to go where Alex matched- and that is 290 miles away. We learned that home is wherever we are together- not the 4 walls that shelter us.
We are now a one car, one income family, learning to live on cash and live on less. It's been a rewarding change for us and challenging at times. But because of our living on less we are saving and are getting ready for adoption #2!
I hope I can be better about keeping the blog up to date more now as I have so many blog entries running though my mind every day!
Gone though domestic adoption and adopted a beautiful baby boy in July 2011. We have an amazing open adoption with his birthfamily and as I start to blog more I will talk about the awesomeness of our adoption. Samuel is 19 months now and the center of our whole world.
I am 5 classes away from my BA but have no desire to go back. I know I will finish (at some point) but right now I am loving being a stay at home mom!
Alex graduated from medical school!!! He's officially a doctor in his first year of residency in pediatrics. He is anticipating doing a 3 year fellowship in hematology/oncology after his 3 years of residency.
We moved to Loma Linda for residency. Alex did not match to his first choice of Fresno for pediatrics but apparently God had a better plan for us. Loma Linda is an INCREDIBLE program, much better than what Alex experienced in Fresno. We are involved at an amazing church and I have been so blessed to have a wonderful group of medical spouses who are learning, just as I am, the ins and outs of being married to a doctor.
Our cocker spaniel Audrey pAssed away this summer. We lived dog free for 4 months before we adopted our new little pup- a tiny brown and white Shih Tzu we've named Frodo. He is adorable- but I'm remembering that puppies are a lot of work!
We had to short sell our house. Our first home, that we invested so much sweat, money and heart into. But we had to go where Alex matched- and that is 290 miles away. We learned that home is wherever we are together- not the 4 walls that shelter us.
We are now a one car, one income family, learning to live on cash and live on less. It's been a rewarding change for us and challenging at times. But because of our living on less we are saving and are getting ready for adoption #2!
I hope I can be better about keeping the blog up to date more now as I have so many blog entries running though my mind every day!
Monday, January 3, 2011
A (school) update for the New Year
Well, I haven't posted here for awhile... oops! Guess its time for an update?
We've been "home" (Fresno) now for 6 months and it has been wonderful. I love being back in our house, having friends to hang out with, being involved in our little church and being close to family again. I'm currently working part time for my parents company (my old job, kinda) doing accounts payable. Overall, I'm just really thrilled to be back home:)
Alex is doing great in his core rotations. He is half way through the year and has finished 8 weeks of family medicine, 8 weeks of internal medicine and 6 weeks of pediatrics. He's currently finishing up Ob/Gyn (his least fave, but its almost over). By far his favorite has been pediatrics which has cemented his plan to pursue pediatric oncology as his speciality. That means after he graduates next year he will do a 3 year residency in pediatrics then apply for a 3 year fellowship in pediatric oncology. Lots of training ahead but it will be worth it in the long run, as we continue to pursue where God is leading us.
So the rest of this (school) year is going to look something like this: he finished his Ob/Gyn rotation in two weeks, then he gets two weeks of vacation (woo hoo!) followed by 4 weeks of pediatric oncology elective here in Fresno at Children's Hospital. Then he will do 8 weeks of surgery in Hanford, followed by 4 weeks of psych in Benicia, and 4 weeks of Adult Oncology in Sacramento. I feel so blessed that the Lord has opened up so many rotations here that he only has to leave for 8 weeks. We are still trying to work out the details of living arrangements when he's up north again, but we have a little while to figure it all out still.
That's enough news for one post. I'll post more later:)
We've been "home" (Fresno) now for 6 months and it has been wonderful. I love being back in our house, having friends to hang out with, being involved in our little church and being close to family again. I'm currently working part time for my parents company (my old job, kinda) doing accounts payable. Overall, I'm just really thrilled to be back home:)
Alex is doing great in his core rotations. He is half way through the year and has finished 8 weeks of family medicine, 8 weeks of internal medicine and 6 weeks of pediatrics. He's currently finishing up Ob/Gyn (his least fave, but its almost over). By far his favorite has been pediatrics which has cemented his plan to pursue pediatric oncology as his speciality. That means after he graduates next year he will do a 3 year residency in pediatrics then apply for a 3 year fellowship in pediatric oncology. Lots of training ahead but it will be worth it in the long run, as we continue to pursue where God is leading us.
So the rest of this (school) year is going to look something like this: he finished his Ob/Gyn rotation in two weeks, then he gets two weeks of vacation (woo hoo!) followed by 4 weeks of pediatric oncology elective here in Fresno at Children's Hospital. Then he will do 8 weeks of surgery in Hanford, followed by 4 weeks of psych in Benicia, and 4 weeks of Adult Oncology in Sacramento. I feel so blessed that the Lord has opened up so many rotations here that he only has to leave for 8 weeks. We are still trying to work out the details of living arrangements when he's up north again, but we have a little while to figure it all out still.
That's enough news for one post. I'll post more later:)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
In the Home Stretch (Pun Intended)
Our "Big Move" is only 2 days away!
Packing has been interesting. We seem to have (again) collected more stuff that we need (specifically clothes, fabric, and shoes - all mine of course). I'm sure the trips to Home Depot for more boxes will continue throughout the weekend. The biggest challenge is trying to get all our laundry clean before we move because I hate moving several hampers of dirty laundry from one place to the other. However, since my tiny apartment washer and dryer can only wash 3 towels at a time and we have let a few too many baskets pile up, we may be waiting on washing some until we get home.
I'm looking forward to having one of my best friends, Lynae, coming up from Fresno tonight and staying through Monday. Her company and motivation will make packing much easier - packing seems to go faster with good conversation :) She has two little kiddo's (and just found out there's one more on the way), so this is like a mini vacation for her and much needed girl time for us both.
Needless to say, I hope this is our last move for a long, long time...
(picture courtesy of www.bigappleboxes.com)
Packing has been interesting. We seem to have (again) collected more stuff that we need (specifically clothes, fabric, and shoes - all mine of course). I'm sure the trips to Home Depot for more boxes will continue throughout the weekend. The biggest challenge is trying to get all our laundry clean before we move because I hate moving several hampers of dirty laundry from one place to the other. However, since my tiny apartment washer and dryer can only wash 3 towels at a time and we have let a few too many baskets pile up, we may be waiting on washing some until we get home.
I'm looking forward to having one of my best friends, Lynae, coming up from Fresno tonight and staying through Monday. Her company and motivation will make packing much easier - packing seems to go faster with good conversation :) She has two little kiddo's (and just found out there's one more on the way), so this is like a mini vacation for her and much needed girl time for us both.
Needless to say, I hope this is our last move for a long, long time...
(picture courtesy of www.bigappleboxes.com)
Friday, June 11, 2010
A Perfect Ending
This week Alex has been busy getting ready for the ever stressful USMLE Step 1. This test is a big one, and his score will effect his choices of residency in the future. And the USMLE tests everything he has learned over the last two years. Just a little stressful!!!
Today was exam day, and I had agreed to take him to the testing center in Alameda, a town about 30 minutes away from us. We woke up early, make a quick stop at McDonald's for some coffee and McMuffins and we make it there with time to spare. Good thing too, because Alex, with all his nerves shot, had forgotten to bring a print out that he needed to get into the exam. A quick call to my parents fixed that (thanks for saving the day, mom and dad!) as they were able to print out the paper for him and then fax it into the testing center. It made for a very eventful morning to say the least!
I drove back to Martinez to get some packing done while he faced the grueling 8 hour test. I'm glad to say that at 4pm when I picked him up, my exhausted hubbs was feeling confident that he did well. Praise the Lord! Now we just have to wait two months to get the score.....
As we started heading back to Martinez, a thought occured to me: since we were really close to San Francisco (literally 3 miles away from the Bay Bridge), it was a beautiful day, and neither of us was in a hurry to face the traffic going home, why not stop for some clam chowder and ice cream on the Pier? It sounded great to us both!
So we had a nice dinner at the Boudin Restaurant overlooking the bay, and walked along the pier hand in hand eating Ben & Jerry's for dessert. It was the perfect ending to a stressful day. It was the perfect ending to the last two years that we've been here in the bay area. It was just perfect.
Exhausted but Happy
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Almost Home... (updated with pictures)
Things have been busy here with preparation for moving home! After over two months of not blogging I figured I would try to give an update for those who have been emailing me and asking "is everything OK? Why aren't you blogging?" I didn't realize that people actually still read my blog!
Alex finished his second year of Med school at the end of May and has been preparing for the first tests for the Medical Board Exams (called Step 1). He took the COMLEX (the Osteopathic Board Exam) last week and is taking the USMLE (Allelopathic Board Exam) this Friday. He feels confident that he did well on the COMLEX and is ready for what the USMLE has to dish out! Please keep him in your prayers! We are moving just three days after the USMLE and he starts his 3rd year rotations on June 21st, so he will really only get one week off! His first rotation is 8 weeks of Family Medicine, so at least he will have normal hours for the next 8 weeks.
I have been working with our missions team at church to prepare for our mission trip to Albania this summer. I leave for Albania on June 26th and we will be returning to the States on my birthday, July 11th. We will be hosting a summer camp for street kids and teenagers and I'm excited to see how God is going to use me there. (More on that to come in a future post..)
I forgot how much I miss being home and have really enjoyed my trips back to Fresno the last few months to get the house ready. With the help of my Dad, my brother and my sis-in-"love", we have replaced all the carpet in the living room and hallway with dark laminate wood floors and also repainted all the main rooms of the house. We also had the backyard done (which was previously all dirt) so now we actually have a patio and sidewalk and soon will have grass and sprinklers (which I know Audrey will appreciate!).
Pictures of my our house "in progress"
Alex finished his second year of Med school at the end of May and has been preparing for the first tests for the Medical Board Exams (called Step 1). He took the COMLEX (the Osteopathic Board Exam) last week and is taking the USMLE (Allelopathic Board Exam) this Friday. He feels confident that he did well on the COMLEX and is ready for what the USMLE has to dish out! Please keep him in your prayers! We are moving just three days after the USMLE and he starts his 3rd year rotations on June 21st, so he will really only get one week off! His first rotation is 8 weeks of Family Medicine, so at least he will have normal hours for the next 8 weeks.
I have been working with our missions team at church to prepare for our mission trip to Albania this summer. I leave for Albania on June 26th and we will be returning to the States on my birthday, July 11th. We will be hosting a summer camp for street kids and teenagers and I'm excited to see how God is going to use me there. (More on that to come in a future post..)
I forgot how much I miss being home and have really enjoyed my trips back to Fresno the last few months to get the house ready. With the help of my Dad, my brother and my sis-in-"love", we have replaced all the carpet in the living room and hallway with dark laminate wood floors and also repainted all the main rooms of the house. We also had the backyard done (which was previously all dirt) so now we actually have a patio and sidewalk and soon will have grass and sprinklers (which I know Audrey will appreciate!).
Pictures of my our house "in progress"
(My brother and sis-in-"love")
The floors are all in now, but there is still a lot to do: painting all the trim white, installing the baseboards, painting the doors, etc. I'm in Fresno now and am praying I can get it all done tomorrow so it will all be done before we move in.
Oh and the cement in my back yard which I'm so very happy about!!!
The grass will come next week but my flowerbeds and trees will have to wait for fall since Fresno's 110 degree summers aren't conducive to planting.
I'd better get packing.... only 8 days left...
Oh and the cement in my back yard which I'm so very happy about!!!
The grass will come next week but my flowerbeds and trees will have to wait for fall since Fresno's 110 degree summers aren't conducive to planting.
I'd better get packing.... only 8 days left...
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Albania here I come...
A few months ago our church asked for sign-ups for people who are interested in going on a mission trip this summer. And I signed up! I knew that with the 6 or so baby shower I would have to go to this summer and one that I’m hosting, that I really want something else to focus on.
I was so excited when one of the pastors called me today and asked if I want to be a part of the Albania team! The really cool part is that my pastor at Grace Place in Fresno, the one who married Alex and I, is leading the team and bringing two Life students. Our church up here, East Bay, is going to send 6 people - so I get to be a part of both of my church’s mission teams! What a great way to transition back home. I'm so excited!
As of now, I know that I will need ot raise $2400 and we are going June 26-July 10. We will be working with the full time missionaries that are working in that community. More details will come later.
Praise the Lord! I'm so excited about what God has in store for me!
I was so excited when one of the pastors called me today and asked if I want to be a part of the Albania team! The really cool part is that my pastor at Grace Place in Fresno, the one who married Alex and I, is leading the team and bringing two Life students. Our church up here, East Bay, is going to send 6 people - so I get to be a part of both of my church’s mission teams! What a great way to transition back home. I'm so excited!
As of now, I know that I will need ot raise $2400 and we are going June 26-July 10. We will be working with the full time missionaries that are working in that community. More details will come later.
Praise the Lord! I'm so excited about what God has in store for me!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Bad blogger
I've been a horrible blogger lately. I think because I feel like I have nothing to write about. Well, actually I have a few things I want to write about, but I'm waiting to see if they pan out... does that leave you in suspense?
Mainly I've been really busy with school and work. My current class, Old Testament Foundations, is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, but so worth the work. I'm learning so much and loving every (ok, maybe not every) minute of it. I think its good that the classes are hard - no one wants a pastor teaching on something that they don't understand. This is giving me a wonderful foundation for wherever God decides to lead us in ministry.
Work has been going pretty good. I end up spending the entire day I have to work trying to prep for my classes, so that’s been frustrating. Still, it’s been a good way to keep up with my skills. I’m a better decorator than I was 3 months ago. When I’m actually teaching, I love it. It’s the paperwork and prep that is starting to wear me out!
10 more weeks until we move back to Fresno, and I'm so ready to be home. It’s hard to believe that just 2 years ago Alex was finding out he got into Med School and we were going to be leaving. Time went by much faster than I thought it would.
Well, that’s a short update for now. I have a sermon outline due tonight (actually it was due Sunday!) that I need to get back to work on.
Mainly I've been really busy with school and work. My current class, Old Testament Foundations, is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, but so worth the work. I'm learning so much and loving every (ok, maybe not every) minute of it. I think its good that the classes are hard - no one wants a pastor teaching on something that they don't understand. This is giving me a wonderful foundation for wherever God decides to lead us in ministry.
Work has been going pretty good. I end up spending the entire day I have to work trying to prep for my classes, so that’s been frustrating. Still, it’s been a good way to keep up with my skills. I’m a better decorator than I was 3 months ago. When I’m actually teaching, I love it. It’s the paperwork and prep that is starting to wear me out!
10 more weeks until we move back to Fresno, and I'm so ready to be home. It’s hard to believe that just 2 years ago Alex was finding out he got into Med School and we were going to be leaving. Time went by much faster than I thought it would.
Well, that’s a short update for now. I have a sermon outline due tonight (actually it was due Sunday!) that I need to get back to work on.
Friday, March 19, 2010
I'm growing
School is changing me.
For one, its kicking my butt. I'm taking Old Testament Foundations right now and having to do a 3-5 page position paper and working on my exegetical class project each week (don't you just love the word exegetical? It just sounds hard!) I've gotten straight A's so far (that has never happened in my LIFE!) but this class may be the one that breaks that streak - I'm about a week behind trying to play catch up.
But I love it. I've never loved anything so much that has been so hard to do. I'm reading the Word and understanding it. I'm leading bible studies. I'm preparing sermon outlines. I'm going to be a pastor.
Yep, thats right. I'm going to be a pastor. Its finally sinking in. Its strange for me to realise that this is my call. I always thought Alex was going to be a pastor. Nope. God had a different plan for him. And for me.
I still don't know where it's going to lead. I don't think I'm supose to know right now. But I'm excited about what God has in store for me.
When everything is uncertain around me I know that Christ is the rock I can stand on. I feel at peace. He shows me grace and mercy. I am His beloved. And its finally sinking in...
For one, its kicking my butt. I'm taking Old Testament Foundations right now and having to do a 3-5 page position paper and working on my exegetical class project each week (don't you just love the word exegetical? It just sounds hard!) I've gotten straight A's so far (that has never happened in my LIFE!) but this class may be the one that breaks that streak - I'm about a week behind trying to play catch up.
But I love it. I've never loved anything so much that has been so hard to do. I'm reading the Word and understanding it. I'm leading bible studies. I'm preparing sermon outlines. I'm going to be a pastor.
Yep, thats right. I'm going to be a pastor. Its finally sinking in. Its strange for me to realise that this is my call. I always thought Alex was going to be a pastor. Nope. God had a different plan for him. And for me.
I still don't know where it's going to lead. I don't think I'm supose to know right now. But I'm excited about what God has in store for me.
When everything is uncertain around me I know that Christ is the rock I can stand on. I feel at peace. He shows me grace and mercy. I am His beloved. And its finally sinking in...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
My First Award!
I haven't been online much the last few weeks because school has kept me very busy. But today I turned in the last assignment for my Christian Counseling class and I thought I'd spend a little time today catching up on my faviorate blogs.
I was so excited to find out that my friend Sammy, who was one of the first blogs I started following, sent me this award! Thank you so much, dear friend!
The rules:
1.Say thank you and link pass to the blogger(s) who awarded this to you.
2.Pass it on to other bloggers that you've recently discovered.
3.Link them and notify them.
4.Say 7 things about yourself.
So here are the ladies I'm awarding this too:
Launa
Sheree
Jamie
Tracy
Now for the 7 things about myself
1. I'm not a big fan of make-up. If I could go out in public without any on I would go for it in a heartbeat, but my skin just isn't that good.
2. I love changing my hair color. Last year alone I went from dark brown, to red, to burgandy, to light brown with highlights.
3. I'm obsessed with DIY, low cost home improvement and decorating ideas. I buy decorators magagzines and research paint colors online. Its a sickness, I know....
4. I went on a mission trip to China when I was 19 and smuggled bibles accross the border. It was awesome and I'll have to blog about that someday.
5. My faviorate potato chip is salt and vinegar
6. I have to keep my hair cut short because it is so sparse. And no, that has nothing to do with how much I dye it - I went 3 years without any color change and still my hair falls out fast. I love long hair but it doesn't work with my genetic makeup
7. I love zebra print. Not a big fan of other animal prints but my obsession with zebras will have to carry over to another post another day...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
(Almost) Wordless Wednesday
This little guy has stolen the hearts of my whole family! If you followed my posts this summer, you know that my sister, Kristi, and her husband, Doug, had been waiting 3 years to adopt a child from China when they received the referal for this special little 2.5 year old boy! He came into their home and hearts in July and we've been capitivated ever since.
Its amazing how much energy he has! He just turned three on New Years day and his English is catching up quickly with his age group. He is SOOOO attached to Mama and Daddy! And I'm delighted that everytime I call Kristi he asks to talk to "Auntie Janna"!
Adoption is awesome. I love being an Aunt.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Back on the upswing...
Last week was emotionally hard, but I think writing the last blog was cathartic for me. Writing usually is.
I feel better now. The really hard class I was taking is over (and I got an A!), and now I'm taking one that isn't as intense. I've been enjoying my classes so much that I am seriously considering going to seminary after I graduate. I LOVE teaching the cake decorating classes and feel much more confident now that I have my first full class under my belt. And I'm counting down 'til I move back home. Only 4 months and 1 week to go!
Thanks for the comments on my last blog! It helps to know that I'm not alone in my pain and that I'm supported even when I'm feeling crappy :)
I feel better now. The really hard class I was taking is over (and I got an A!), and now I'm taking one that isn't as intense. I've been enjoying my classes so much that I am seriously considering going to seminary after I graduate. I LOVE teaching the cake decorating classes and feel much more confident now that I have my first full class under my belt. And I'm counting down 'til I move back home. Only 4 months and 1 week to go!
Thanks for the comments on my last blog! It helps to know that I'm not alone in my pain and that I'm supported even when I'm feeling crappy :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Acceptance?!? Maybe more like denial (Warning - Infertility Rant)
So I posted a blog last week that was all about how I felt like I had finally reach that acceptance phase with my infertility, blah, blah, blah...
And then this last week I found out about three other friends who are pregnant and one is planning to start trying this spring.
And then I've watched all those friends put posts on facebook saying "Oh, I'm so happy I get to be a mommy in a few months" and " I LOVE being pregnant" and "woo hoo! just bought my first maternity clothes!"
Several have called to give me the good news themselves, than explain that they vomited on themselves or that they are scared of childbirth. I'm trying to be there for them. I want to be that person that they can talk to about this stuff. Is that too much to expect? yes, I know your answer
I'm excited for them and thrill for the little blessings they will have. But I can't help but have that feeling. You know, when you ask yourself "when is it going to be my turn?"
I feel that same feeling of being so ready to be a mom. To hold my baby and chase my three year old through the house. To work on a quilt for my child. For someone to plan a shower for me.
I know I sound incredibly selfish. That's more lovely guilt I'm carrying.
And its not helping when well meaning friends say "its only a few more years - enjoy them!" (I've been waiting a few years already) or "you'll forget how bad infertility hurts as soon as you hold your first little one" (how is that suppose to make me feel good right now when holding my baby seems so far away?) Its not helping that I haven't been able to sleep and my emotions are all over the place.
One of the crappiest things about infertility is that I have never been able to fully enjoy my friends being pregnant around me. How awful is that? I feel excited and depressed, guilty and frustrated, all in the same breath.
Guess its time for more therapy. Maybe I'm not as far along as I thought.
And then this last week I found out about three other friends who are pregnant and one is planning to start trying this spring.
And then I've watched all those friends put posts on facebook saying "Oh, I'm so happy I get to be a mommy in a few months" and " I LOVE being pregnant" and "woo hoo! just bought my first maternity clothes!"
Several have called to give me the good news themselves, than explain that they vomited on themselves or that they are scared of childbirth. I'm trying to be there for them. I want to be that person that they can talk to about this stuff. Is that too much to expect? yes, I know your answer
I'm excited for them and thrill for the little blessings they will have. But I can't help but have that feeling. You know, when you ask yourself "when is it going to be my turn?"
I feel that same feeling of being so ready to be a mom. To hold my baby and chase my three year old through the house. To work on a quilt for my child. For someone to plan a shower for me.
I know I sound incredibly selfish. That's more lovely guilt I'm carrying.
And its not helping when well meaning friends say "its only a few more years - enjoy them!" (I've been waiting a few years already) or "you'll forget how bad infertility hurts as soon as you hold your first little one" (how is that suppose to make me feel good right now when holding my baby seems so far away?) Its not helping that I haven't been able to sleep and my emotions are all over the place.
One of the crappiest things about infertility is that I have never been able to fully enjoy my friends being pregnant around me. How awful is that? I feel excited and depressed, guilty and frustrated, all in the same breath.
Guess its time for more therapy. Maybe I'm not as far along as I thought.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The dreaded 40lbs
I have struggled with my weight off and on over the last 10 years. I am a typical stress eater. When I am under a lot of stress, I eat and eat and eat. I know that keeping my weight in check will be a lifelong discipline that I really need to develop. So I thought maybe putting my weight loss/gain in pictures it might help motivated me even more to get it off and keep it off FOR GOOD! (Seriously, I have no idea what has inspired me to put the worst pictures of me online - maybe because sugar is no longer flowing through my veins..... at least I can't be accused of not "keeping it real")
I gained about 30lbs my first year of marriage.
This is me at my wedding in April 2002:
And this is me in December 2002 with the Hubbs and my bro (he's in uniform):
I lost that 30lbs in a month by doing Atkins that spring, and managed to keep it off for about a year.
December 2003
But before long the weight started creeping back until I was caring the 40lbs yet again.
January 2005
That summer I got really serious. I did Weight Watchers, started exercising and for the first time, took really good care of myself. It took 8 months, but I got all 40lbs off in time for our vacation to Hawaii.
March 2006
I actually keep the weight off that time for several years. I stuck to weight watchers (occasionally throwing in slim fast) and bought a treadmill which I used several times a week.
November 2006
July 2007
Christmas 2007
I was doing really good until we found out Alex got into med school. Than the stress eating began again and it has continued without end.
This is me right before we left for med school
April 2008
And this is me now:
I have gained 30 lbs since Alex started med school. Seems only fitting to go back home weight what I was when I left:)
I gained about 30lbs my first year of marriage.
This is me at my wedding in April 2002:
And this is me in December 2002 with the Hubbs and my bro (he's in uniform):
I lost that 30lbs in a month by doing Atkins that spring, and managed to keep it off for about a year.
December 2003
But before long the weight started creeping back until I was caring the 40lbs yet again.
January 2005
That summer I got really serious. I did Weight Watchers, started exercising and for the first time, took really good care of myself. It took 8 months, but I got all 40lbs off in time for our vacation to Hawaii.
March 2006
I actually keep the weight off that time for several years. I stuck to weight watchers (occasionally throwing in slim fast) and bought a treadmill which I used several times a week.
November 2006
July 2007
Christmas 2007
I was doing really good until we found out Alex got into med school. Than the stress eating began again and it has continued without end.
This is me right before we left for med school
April 2008
And this is me now:
I have gained 30 lbs since Alex started med school. Seems only fitting to go back home weight what I was when I left:)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Acceptance...
I recently found out that my sis-in-law is 8 weeks pregant. She and her husband had been trying, but it caught her off-guard that it happened so fast. I'm thrilled for her and so excited that I will have a new little niece or nephew this August.
I have been dreading this phone call for a long time. I know other infertiles understand. Sometimes it hard to be happy for someone when you have been trying so hard for the very thing they've received so easily.
But this was different. I refuse to let my infertility cause me to miss this important part of my sis-in-law's life. I read the phrase once that said "I am infertile, but my infertility doesn't define me." I'm trying harder to live that out.
I talked to my sister (who is a fellow infertile) about this and she said that I've reached the "acceptence" stage. I felt for a long time that my life wouldn't start until I have children. I've learned that my life is moving around me and I can't just sit and wait until that dream comes true. It's time for me to moving forward and set other dreams.
My dream of having a house full of babies will come true - someday. Acceptance is giving my dreams to God and trusting that He knows the best time for our dreams to happen.
Its such a release to finally feel truly happy watching my friends and families dreams of parenthood come true.
I have been dreading this phone call for a long time. I know other infertiles understand. Sometimes it hard to be happy for someone when you have been trying so hard for the very thing they've received so easily.
But this was different. I refuse to let my infertility cause me to miss this important part of my sis-in-law's life. I read the phrase once that said "I am infertile, but my infertility doesn't define me." I'm trying harder to live that out.
I talked to my sister (who is a fellow infertile) about this and she said that I've reached the "acceptence" stage. I felt for a long time that my life wouldn't start until I have children. I've learned that my life is moving around me and I can't just sit and wait until that dream comes true. It's time for me to moving forward and set other dreams.
My dream of having a house full of babies will come true - someday. Acceptance is giving my dreams to God and trusting that He knows the best time for our dreams to happen.
Its such a release to finally feel truly happy watching my friends and families dreams of parenthood come true.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Like Christmas in January...
I'm really enjoying my new job. It's a great way of keeping my skills up, and cake decorating is just so much fun to teach. As a teacher, I choose what classes I teach - and I just love the project classes. Most of the cake decorating classes are two hours, one day a week, for four weeks. The project classes are just one day, two hour classes that teach you how to do spicific Wilton projects. For example, last month I taught a cookie bouquet class, this month I'm teaching a candy making class, ect.
One of the things I absolutely LOVE about my new job is the fantastic deals I am able to get on my cake decorating and candy making supplies. One of the reasons why I love to sign up for the "project classes" (candy making, Brownies, cookies) is because the company gives me a killer discount on the supplies we need for the classes.
I was thrilled today when my first package from Wilton arrived - with everything I need for my candy class at the end of this month! It's like Christmas all over again!!!
The hubb's has been harassing me a bit, saying that I'm probably spending as much as I make. I'm figure I'm just working to afford my hobby!
One of the things I absolutely LOVE about my new job is the fantastic deals I am able to get on my cake decorating and candy making supplies. One of the reasons why I love to sign up for the "project classes" (candy making, Brownies, cookies) is because the company gives me a killer discount on the supplies we need for the classes.
I was thrilled today when my first package from Wilton arrived - with everything I need for my candy class at the end of this month! It's like Christmas all over again!!!
The hubb's has been harassing me a bit, saying that I'm probably spending as much as I make. I'm figure I'm just working to afford my hobby!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Exciting things to come...
We found out today that Alex will be doing his 3rd year rotations in Fresno, and I've been ecstatic every since I found out (I was literally jumping up and down in my kitchen after he called with the news). That means we are moving home!!! I've missed my family and friends so much! It will be wonderful to have family and friends around when Alex is putting in so many hours at the hospital.
This also means that we are moving back into our house! We have a beautiful 1700 sq ft house in Fresno that I have missed so much. No more trying to squeeze all our stuff in a tiny apartment :)
Here's a picture of the beautiful home I get to move back to....
Such a good way to start the new year. Moving home is something wonderful that I get to look forward to :)
This also means that we are moving back into our house! We have a beautiful 1700 sq ft house in Fresno that I have missed so much. No more trying to squeeze all our stuff in a tiny apartment :)
Here's a picture of the beautiful home I get to move back to....
Such a good way to start the new year. Moving home is something wonderful that I get to look forward to :)
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